This Shattered Dream You Cannot Justify
by HaveNoMercy
Summary: Post-Crossfire, Oliver stops by the Luthor mansion to see Tess after realizing it's over with Lois once again…


**Disclaimer:** I do not own these characters, I'd be USING them together.

**Title:** This Shattered Dream You Cannot Justify

**Rating:** NC-17 for sexual situations

**Genre:** Smallville, Romance, Drama

**Verse:** Post Episode, Missing Scene (Sorta)

**Spoilers:** Toxic, Committed, Savior, Rabid, Echo, Roulette, Crossfire

**Summary:** Post-Crossfire, Oliver stops by the Luthor mansion to see Tess after realizing it's over with Lois once again…

**Feedback:** Of course!

XxX

Oliver walked through the mansion freely, no longer feeling the need to march in his Green Arrow uniform with caution and an expectation of a fight.

It wasn't that he still didn't have a fight once in awhile when he walked inside these walls; they just now involved his former girlfriend.

"Mercy?" he called with a file in his hand as he opened the double doors to the great room of the 'deceased' Lex Luthor.

He saw her look over at him with a glass of wine in her hand, the flames from fireplace simmering down beside her.

"Whatcha got there?" he asked gently.

"Chateau Lafite-Rothschild. What were you expecting, Dom Perignon?"

"What is that, Lex's favorite?" he questioned with that slight repartee in his voice.

She sighed a little, letting the glass slip from her lips.

"What is it, Oliver?"

"I brought the file you left a message about," he said, tossing it on her desk.

She stood in the corner to the right of the desk. Not one to hide from him, she emerged, taking a look at it.

"You couldn't wait until tomorrow?"

Having had the last few months be pure hell for him, to say nothing of being romantically rejected a few days ago, he felt he could commiserate with her despair. It hadn't seemed so ridiculous to him to drop off the file in person. And looking at her now, memories of last year came back to him.

"No, actually, you mind?" he asked, immediately pouring himself a glass, knowing it would push her buttons - if she had any buttons left to push. "It's not too late, is it?" he asked with a flirtatiously evil smile.

"Oh, now you want to talk?"

"If you have enough synapses firing for you to comprehend a sentence."

She took another sip of alcohol but offered him little leeway. He didn't push his luck.

"Alright, I guess I owe you thanks for saving my life and keeping my company afloat and…everything else," he said moving over to the couch and sitting down. He looked at his wine before taking a delicate sip. She joined him, sitting across from him as the fire roared beside them.

"What are partners for? So, what are you able to tell me now that while being flooded with twelve kinds of alcohol you couldn't?"

"Well, Lois and I aren't meant to be together," he blurted out.

Tess chuckled, reaching for the bottle.

"I could've told you that three years ago, Oliver."

"Yeah well, so could I, maybe, but that doesn't make the feelings completely go away. You understand that," he said, meeting her eyes. "I mean-you know-I mean you're-you're like Lois."

"You're not digging yourself out of the hole," she replied.

"No, I'm serious."

"Oliver," she warned.

"Oh stop it," he smiled. "She's not that bad."

"She's legs and a vapid mouth."

"Exactly!" he teased and she threw a pillow at him. "Wow, I do still hold the power to make you smile. It's not impossible." He paused, watching her and seeing her eyes flood with memories that mirrored his. "So why are you drinking? What are you trying to forget?"

She looked away.

"Not easy, is it?" Oliver said.

She looked back at him.

"To talk about it."

"Lex said that talking to the wrong people was a weakness."

"Lex was a raving lunatic."

"Lex didn't betray me," she snapped back.

She winced.

"He did, he did," she whispered to herself. "He wanted Lana. The whole time he was looking at me, he wanted Lana. He never trusted me."

Tess pointed to her forehead and laughed the type of laugh that terrified Oliver. It was dangerous and strong all at the same time.

"He was inside my head, watching me all the time. It was…rape. To know that he didn't care or trust me enough to save my life and not invade my brain, everything he taught me…"

"Mercy-"

"And I miss it. I wish I hadn't had the surgery sometimes because then at least he would still be watching me, and he'd still be with me! Lex was the one person in my life who made me feel like I was whole."

She felt instantly damaged after saying that and looked at her wine as if it were responsible. She set the glass down on the table, getting rid of it, and pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger.

"Get out," she said. "I've had too much to drink. I'm saying things I shouldn't."

Oliver looked at her; she was angry, broken, and ashamed of herself. She was one of the strongest people he knew and he hadn't been man enough to protect her from Lex. He'd sabotaged her and consequently served her to the devil to be betrayed again.

Oliver reached across the table and touched her hand.

"What'd he do to you?"

She looked up at him, green eyes wide with desperation and anger. Her eyes had seduced him, made him feel every powerful thing in the world. They entranced him, but they ripped him apart just as much. Now though, she had salty tears filling them and though she was furious and wild, he felt stronger and he didn't back away.

"You know what he did," she answered shortly.

"I-I want you tell me anyway. I don't know that much."

Maybe he wasn't as strong as he thought all the time with her. He could hold his own, no doubt, but she still had an amazing ability to scare the living shit out of most people.

She bent her head down. She was exhausted. With Zod and everything else she was doing, she ached for both Lex and Oliver, for the comfort she'd felt with both of them. She wasn't seeing the betrayal right now, and it was hard to remember it.

Alcohol could do wonders.

"He saved my life. He distracted me from my own pain and gave me a purpose without ever making me feel like he was asking anything of me. He made me believe that he was confiding in me. Maybe for a moment he was."

Oliver pushed the table out of the way, getting down on his knees and edging closer to her. She flinched ever so slightly, unsure of close contact between them that wasn't angry.

"Oliver," she said softly.

"Did he touch you?"

She looked down at her first love.

"Would that bother you so much? Would that be what bothered you the most?"

"There are a couple things that bastard could do to you that would grind my gears, but yeah, that'd be the worst of them. I'm not saying I wasn't a coward, but that doesn't mean I want my arch enemy training you to be Irina Derevko and putting his hands on you at the same time."

She wondered for a moment if she could call what he was feeling jealousy. Then she hated her own weakness for wanting it. He saw the wave of frustrated emotions wash over her face. He brushed the back of his hand across her cheek.

"Hey, look at me, you know what, I'm not trying to invade your life. I just wanted to have a glass of wine with you. Honestly, you didn't deserve what either one of us did to you but I hope you hold me in a slightly higher regard than him."

She nodded just slightly, possibly thinking it over.

"Just slightly," she replied and he smiled.

"If he had any sense at all he'd be proud."

She tilted her head.

"Is that you throwing him or me a compliment?"

"Mercy," he said.

"Why do you call me that?" she sighed, reaching around him for her glass but he stopped her, cupping her face.

"Because I know who you are."

"You know who I was. I'm not that stupid little girl I was back then who sat around waiting for you."

"Okay, number one, you never waited around for me. If you did, you never let me see you waiting. You were always strong, persistent. But back then you let me in and showed me the sides of you that no one else got to see. And I know who Mercy is. She's you."

He leaned his face closer to her and she felt the heat from his body. She felt her mind ceasing its resistance of him. How could it betray her this way?

"You obviously have a terrible memory," Tess whispered as his mouth came towards hers. "Twice I sat waiting for you for hours."

"Really? Two times?" he asked, looking at her mouth.

"You know what happened the second time, but the first time, that first time I never let you hear the end of it. And you didn't disappoint me again for a long time."

"Yeah? How about I not disappoint you right now?" he breathed, sliding his hands around her thighs and bringing them down off the couch and around his waist.

She felt the flickers of desire flow through her at rapid speed as he wrapped her body around him. It slightly pissed her off that an action he created could make her respond that way after all this time. Her somewhat tipsy mind wanted to blame it on the wine, but she had to face the fact that sexual chemistry had never been a problem between them.

Surviving the fights they usually had afterwards was.

He dipped her body forward against him so he could stand up and move back to his side of the couch. Landing gently on it, his hands began the feverish attack of her body, his mouth assaulting hers. He lifted the blouse from her body throwing it down in some random direction. Breaking from their feverish kiss to catch their breath, he delicately unhooked her bra, caressing her stomach, stroking her breasts, her shoulders, her face, realizing out of all the women he'd been with and even the fewer he'd managed to have a relationship with, she was the one he'd been the most sexual with.

He'd lusted after and been most sexualized with her. She was the one with whom he had the most memories. It made him hungry, it made him feel every thriving animalistic thing he'd ever felt.

Oliver threw Tess against the couch's pillows and yanked her slacks down. He could smell her already; the desire, the smell of sex, but the way she smelled, the way she tasted, no one had ever been that way for him. He slithered his hands beneath her underwear and slid it down her long, familiar legs.

She fumbled with his pants until he gave her a helping hand, easily ridding himself of his own clothing. He settled himself at the edge of the couch and pulled her legs over his shoulders.

"Oliver!" she cried out softly, momentarily forgetting how Oliver Queen was when he wanted something.

His tongue was on her, driving in, wasting no time getting reacquainted with her since last year.

"Dammit," she whispered, her toes curling as she felt her juices flooding out onto his face.

His fingers expertly circled and put pressure on her clit, but not so much as to hurt her. She felt the ache building, the exquisite pleasure of his tongue gliding, laving, and then making its way up to her clit while his fingers traded places with it.

He loved the taste of her. She tasted so fucking good. He wanted to stay down there and consume her all night long, but he knew Tess had other needs. And more than one thing could please Oliver as well.

She felt herself open as his strong fingers slipped in, stroking, pushing, riding inside her. She cried out, involuntarily squeezing his fingers with her muscles, her juices coating his fingers as his tongue worked overtime on her clit.

He wanted her to come.

He wanted to taste her come.

Tess felt the waves coming upon her and she lifted her legs quickly and kicked him off her and ran.

Oliver ran after her and slammed her up against her bedroom door.

"Not just yet," he hissed into her hair.

He flattened his chest against her shoulder blade before pulling her off the door slightly and reaching a hand down in front of them to play with her clit, hearing a cry escape from her mouth.

She placed her arms up against the wall, letting the assault happen to her body.

"Oliver!" she cried out.

He couldn't take it anymore, he had to be inside her.

She was so wet, burning wet, and he pushed himself in, straining through the first thrusts. He bit gently on her neck, her shoulder, licking and nipping at her skin as her fingers wildly flew back to find him.

"What do you want, Mercy?"

"I want you to fuck me," she whispered breathlessly.

That only urged him on more. The way she said it fueled a man like Oliver Queen. Only they could understand how they worked.

His hands went over hers on the door, pushing as they struggled together to reach their simultaneous goal. Sweat poured over both of them, dampness was between their legs as the thrusts quickened and the cries and heavy breathing deepened.

Oliver grabbed a fistful of Tess's hair, bending her head back abruptly, and then he dragged his short nails along her back, coming inside her body, triggering her own response.

They heaved together, their sweat-slicked bodies recovering from the crashing passion. While taking in powerful breaths he turned her around and tipped her face up to his.

"Look at me," he whispered.

She did, her eyes fluttering with love, fear, and uncertainty.

"Just go," she whispered, giving him permission to leave.

He lifted her up, swinging her legs around his waist. He smiled up at her, opening the door to her bedroom.

"Did you think it was just going to be quick and dirty?"

He walked them to her bed and gently laid her on it. Catching his hand in her red hair he ran it down the center of her torso.

"I'm not who I was back then," he told her. "And yet I remember exactly how I felt."

"You can't handle who I am now."

"Try me," he said kissing her, his fingers cupping her, wasting no time as she involuntarily writhed against him.

She pulled his fingers from her and pushed him back against the pillows, climbing over him like a tiger.

"You aren't the only one that can tease," she whispered, taking him into her mouth.

She licked his tip, encircling him slowly before working her way down, making quicker licks along each side feeling him jerk against her mouth. She carefully took him deep into her mouth, moving up and down, up and down, feeling him inside and sucking hard, her hands at his base, squeezing gently.

She loved the feel of his hands massaging her head, as he strained to be careful not to push or force her harder onto him. She pulled off him just in time, lowering her hot, wet body over him, soothing the burning ache he had for her.

She squeezed him and rolled on top, thrusting slowly back and forth, letting him enjoy the view. She lost her mind in him just as she used to. She didn't know what she was doing, but she knew she'd always loved him and that she always would. That addictive, obsessive, yet sweet, real love.

His hands went to her hips and he pushed her beneath him, grinding into her, moving her legs over his shoulders as he took them both to new heights.

She reached up and touched his face when he looked at her like he had back then.

"Did you ever love me?" she asked.

He didn't completely pause but he slowed down when she asked that.

"Mercy," he pleaded. "I ruin it when it's real," he said as he kissed her inner leg and began to thrust furiously again. "But I'm not going to ruin tonight."

He came so hard - much harder than he ever had in his life. Everything he had bottled up inside was washed out in him and he let it all go in his reconnected bond with Tess. He slept well that night, and he kept her close in his arms.

XxX

The sun leaked into the room, spilling over onto her beautiful body that was wrapped safely in his arms. She slept peacefully, which he guessed was still rare for her, and he didn't dare wake her up. He thought about her as he stared, what she dreamt about, what she thought about on a day to day basis. Who was she underneath it all, who would she have been if he hadn't been such a stupid bastard?

He'd promised her when he first met her that he would change…and he had, for as long as he ever had with anyone, and then just when it probably mattered the most, he shattered her and himself. And here they were, stronger and yet completely fucked up.

She still completely fascinated him and she drew him in like every possible drug that could ever be used. Brushing a strand of red hair out of her face, her green eyes opened, and she saw him there staring at her with…love.

"What time is it?"

"7:43."

She sat up.

"I'm late, we're late."

"No!" he said, pulling her back and covering her with his body. "Don't-don't run away from me like last time. Do you know how long it's been since you let me hold you the morning after? I need to. Let me."

He could see in her eyes that she was struggling for a response. This was the longest he'd seen Tess Mercer be out of her comfort zone in years without courageous, smug comebacks ready and fired back at him after each sentence he said.

"We have a corporation, Oliver. I've been saving it for months. You do what you need to do but I need to go to work."

Okay, that was close. Still, he wouldn't move off of her.

"I need you to let me in. I don't know what you've gotten yourself into but I need you to let me in. I'm capable of more than I've proven to you. I am capable of being something. Even to you. Do you understand what it feels like for me to hold you, to watch you sleep?"

She sighed, trying to look away, but he refused her that too. He caught her mouth with his, gently taking her lips. She couldn't stand it when he touched her; unless she worked over time, all she felt was her need for him…her love.

She felt herself returning the kiss, arching against him, responding, and if she didn't stop herself they'd be missing work all day to repeat the late hours of last night all over again.

"S-stop," she whispered, tearing her mouth from his.

"Why?" he asked.

"I can't trust you. I can't do what you're asking."

"Why?" he asked relentlessly.

She felt his weight over her body, locking her in position, and she felt as trapped as she was.

"Because you can't just erase the years I've been alone because of you. And you know something, you ask me to trust you, but you don't trust me at all. You don't look at me and trust me with anything you have."

He exhaled. She had a point.

"If I did would you promise not to pull a gun on me, have me arrested or publish what I tell you?"

"I gave you Luthorcorp, Oliver. I'm not your enemy. And you're crushing my hips."

"If I get off of you would you stay?"

"For another five minutes."

"No, not another five minutes. Work will wait and if I have to chase you around the room and have sex with you, then life's just going to have to be that way."

She cracked a grin and grabbed his ear.

"Oliver," she groaned, edging him off of her. She propped herself up on her elbow. "So, what? Offer me something here. You cheat on me and then don't even have the courage to break up with me or even confront me about it and years later you want my undying trust. Give me a reason. Give me something to go on."

He rolled on his back, trying to think of how to tell her. She suddenly felt looser, lighter, like all of her anger was gone, though she now had more to be concerned about than before. When she had Oliver, at least back then, she'd been happier. Before it'd all gone to hell, anyway. And in this moment, everything was okay. She forgot the evils of the world and the evils she'd committed. It was the two of them, and they were happy.

"You remember as a kid that I was good at archery, and how that helped me save you," he said, looking back at her.

"Mmm-hmm."

"And you more than anyone know that I never wanted to simply be some corporate, boring, billionaire CEO."

"Yes, perhaps I might've thought of that before merging my company with yours," she replied sardonically.

He pinched her arm at its most sensitive place to make her squirm. "_**Pay**_ attention, one with the insults."

"Stop it!" she twisted, trying not to smile as he tickled her.

He paused for a moment, catching her eyes again once she stopped smiling. "I'm…Green Arrow."

~~~~~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~~~


End file.
